I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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