I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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