She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
