I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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