I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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