I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
