I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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