talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
