I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
