Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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