i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I want to make a zoo with you.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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