We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
