hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
