They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
