Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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