the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
