YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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