i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
