Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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