You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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