I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
