Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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