I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
