How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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