Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
