My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
