Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
