He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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