ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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