I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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