would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
