im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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