I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I want to be your penis for a week.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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