Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
