Define "chronic" masturbator.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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