Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
