There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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