Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
