her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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