Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
worst night to have a conscience
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
