Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
