This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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