spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
