he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
