my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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