So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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