dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
