Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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