Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
