How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
