I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
