But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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