I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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