K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
