I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Swine flu is the new snow day.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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